Tonight I'm writing from my new home in New York - a place I never ever thought I'd find myself when I started this blog - which updating seems to have become a biannual occasion.
I've lived here now for a bit over 6 months and have also turned 30 which means that this blog is around 8 years old - 6 if you consider the accidental reboot in 2005.
________________
"Experience everything."
This is what they tell you with a big grin when you come here.
Just do it. Carpediem. Carpe PM. Do it you pussy. Sack up, man up, hold your shit. Suck it up. Feel better. YOLO. Amazing a celebrity spot. It's divine, it's only the most awesome. fuck yeah, fuck this, too fucking that, best ever this. Check the huge tits, the nice ass. Where do you live? What do you do? How do you like New york?
New York has been wonderful but also very hard in many ways.
A bit like starting up the rusty washing machine my ex room mate bought second hand for 200 bucks from the last tenant. I can feel my whole being grumble and groan as it drudges old sentiments and emotions out of the basement.
Jealousy, love, aggression, inferiority, desire, spite, humiliation, machoism, hero worship, melancholy, vulnerability, loneliness, futility, the familiar sea of being lost in fleeting daydreams. It's all here, everyday, howling and rattling inside my passive aggressive frame that feels too feeble to interface with America.
What are the pounds, dimes, miles, gallons inspiration and arguments worth?
Feeling alive. Would be my short answer.
It's as shitty as high-school sometimes, but what a feeling it is to feel these things again.
The only constant I have is my work, love and craft. My long distance girlfriend, Facebook Family, Keynote, Photoshop, Illustrator and Copywriter furnish my iLife. They are all I have to hide behind, my reason for being. My Visa to stay.
Otherwise It's all new to me, every morning, every mouthful, every strange hour I'm up floundering, fighting for meaning in the sea of dreams, deadlines and agendas.
I am new here. This is me. I'm sorry, I'm just excitable, I should go find something else to do.
2 comments:
Here I Am" is the title of a song co-written and recorded by Canadian artist Bryan Adams. The song was written and recorded in 2002 for the movie Spirit:
Very nice article. Thanks for taking the time, I’ll definitely be coming back.
Visit My Blogs :
rbisolar.com
roughbros.com
Post a Comment