Sunday, August 10, 2008

Things I'm worried I will run out

There was a point today when I sat down to consider a few things I depend on but that I may very possibly out-live and never completely own again.

My red blanket is one of them. its been with me since before I was born, and every night it gets weaker and limper and the threads and stuffing are scrunched bent and folded in between body parts. Maybe one day it will be as small as a hankerchief and then I'll be able to carry it around in a breast pocket. But either way I'm quite sure it will disintegrate one day from now.

Maybe one day when the goodness is gone, I should frame it instead of throwing it into the washing machine again.

Another is my yo la tengo shirt - a green shirt with a smiley face that I bought at the corner hotel in 2002. I'd gone with Thom who'd bought the exact same shirt. It was one of my favorites, and it'd always be the first to be worn after my laundry was dry. But I got it autographed in 2006 when I saw the band in Singapore, and it'd sat in the bottom of my wardrobe since. I guess that was when it ran out of wears.

There are quite a few photographs that I'm tagged in on facebook. not all of them are of me. I'm not sure if they are mine. But I'm worried that when Facebook goes bust (like these things do) they'll be trapped there forever, and I'll never get another glimpse of them again.

There was the smell of the wash room after the last time you used it and a few bits of hair coiled around the drain that I stared at for a while before I picked them out. They definitely weren't mine.

And when I sank down into bed that afternoon I worried I'd run out of book to read, and then I worried about the hours I'd loose sleeping; the time I'd just spend feeling awake and restless.

And words.

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